Top Five of: Ways to Have Eggs

Ahh, Eggs. Delicious little capsules of protein. Let's forget what they ACTUALLY are (*cough*hen'stimeofthemonth*splutter*), and consider how utterly versatile and delicious they are. Prepared in numerous ways, eggs can take many guises, but the following are my TURBO TOTO'S TOP FIVE WAYS TO HAVE EGGS!

WAY TO HAVE EGGS NUMBER FIVE: DEVILLED EGGS



An old dinner party favourite, the Devilled Egg ranks amongst Vienetta and Prawn Cocktail in the upper echelon of superkitsch party dishes. Effectively a hard boiled egg, halved, yolk removed and whipped with cream cheese, chives and usually paprika and spring onion then re-piped back into the cavity; they take a relatively inexpensive ingredient and make it look rather fancy.

Okay, so it's a lot less manly than a big fried egg... but the upside is it's far more portable and well-suited to a lunchbox. So long as nobody sees you and assumes you've time-travelled from the 70s.

Ambassador, with these devilled eggs, you are really spoiling me. And making my farts reek.


WAY TO HAVE EGGS NUMBER FOUR: FRITTATA/OMELETTE



One might argue that a Frittata or an Omelette doesn't let the egg shine through, but rather relegates it to a mere binding to the other ingredients.

This is actually partially true. Whipped egg is the absolute perfect glue to hold together meat, cheese, taters and green veggies in a tastily yumcious way. Unlike a Quiche, however, you still get to taste and appreciate the egg component; the absence of the pastry case allows the subtle flavours to creep through.

And "Frittata" is really fun to say.

FRRRRITTATAHHH!


WAY TO HAVE EGGS NUMBER THREE: MARKS AND SPENCER EGG AND BACON SANDWICH FILLER



God knows what Marks and Spencer put in this sandwich filler - crack cocaine may be involved - but this egg mayonnaise and crispy bacon-bit concoction is undeniably amongst the kings of the pre-packed sandwich fillers. Just the right amount of mayonnaise in the chunky egg (unlike some supermarkets that go on some kind of MAYO MADNESS DELUGEFEST) with the crispy, salty bacon "spackle", Marks and Sparks prove once again that they're worth selling body organs to be able to afford their food.


WAY TO HAVE EGGS NUMBER TWO: EGGS BENEDICT



Picture it. Soft toasted English muffin. Thick cut crispy ham on top. Slice of tomato atop that. Nestled above, a perfectly poached egg. Then, to cap it off, a thick Hollandaise sauce. Served up with al dente asparagus, Eggs Benedict is the breakfast of (posh) champions.

My personal favourite variant is the Crab Egg Benedict, which does not, as the name might suggest, contain crab eggs... but rather substitutes the ham for crabmeat. Eggs Benedict made with crab eggs would be a truly bizarre sight, I'd imagine.


WAY TO HAVE EGGS NUMBER ONE: DIPPY BOILED AND SOLDIERS



Just perpetuating further the fact that I am the world's oldest toddler, there is no better way to have egg than as a dippy soft-boiled egg served alongside toast soldiers. "AAaargh!" they cry, as they are dunked into the soft yolk, a humiliation as a precursor to me violently devouring their heads. When the runny yolk is expended, the game continues... do you make mini egg white toast sandwiches? Do you stick a full soldier into the cavity, turn the whole thing upside down and make an egg-pop? Or do you mash that white into oblivion and petulantly refuse to eat it, demanding to mummy that you "want more dippy bit"? That choice is yours.

So, do my egg choices stink? Or did it eggcite you into eggsamining your own egg-based preferences? Whatever you think, make a comment and get back to me with your own eggsamples.

Loleggpunz.